YOU'RE OUT AND YOU'RE UGLY, TOO!

Durwood Merrill may be one of the best umpires in the American League, though even he would admit he's a less-than-brilliant reader. His Texas drawl sputters, halts and cracks as he labors through this recording, but he's got an infectious charm, entertaining behind-the-scenes anecdotes and some great turns of phrase. Whether he's sharing his recipe for Southern fried chicken or recalling the times Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver got on him "like stink on a fresh cow chip," he's a natural storyteller. And his lists of the best and the worst in various categories ("Durwood's Dozens"), particularly his "All-Bitch Team" of the whiniest players he's ever umpired, are just dang funny. D.B. ©AudioFile, Portland, Maine [Published: DEC/JAN 99]